Keto Day 7

Fat bombs were not the macronutrient saving grace I hoped they would be, but they’re fuckin’ delicious, so whatever. I started with a recipe I found online then realized I didn’t get everything I needed for that recipe and cream cheese was missing from the prescribed ingredients, so I just winged it.

In the event you’re curious: 2 tbsp coconut butter, 2 tsp vanilla extract, 4 oz cream cheese, the rest of my fresh almond butter (about half of a small container), 3 tbsp cacao nibs. I heated it in my awesome frying pan then spooned nine servings into a muffin tin sprayed with coconut oil and one serving directly into my mouth (sans coconut oil).

I’m also trying out Qualia Focus nootropics. They arrived today. 5 capsules a day, 5 days a week is the recommended dose, but they also recommend you ramp up, so I started with three. Intention: get some high-quality GRE studying in before going to work. End result: very thorough shopping on the Amazon Prime app for things I’m missing in my apartment. This included careful measurements of the spaces they were meant to fill and comprehensive customer satisfaction reviewing. So I’d say they’re effective, but I’ve gotta work on directing that focus a little.

I’m sad to say that I really didn’t get in any stretching or exercise today, either. I didn’t get up until almost 2pm because I didn’t get off work until nearly 6am, and the last two hours of that work was very labor intensive. So I’m okay giving myself a pass, but my aching body could have really used the stretches. Now off to work again until 6am, at least! Happy Pride!

Keto Day 6

I think there’s a very decent potential that I’m totally overthinking this shit. I spend so much of my time planning my meals for the day and tweaking snacks to try to hit that 80% fat target that it’s eating into my other daily activities. That’s both unsustainable and unhealthy in mental and emotional terms – physical health be damned.

As you’ll see, I still haven’t hit my percentages for today. No matter what way I rearranged my daily diet plan, I just couldn’t stomach the thought of adding more butter or oil of any iteration into any additional slots. It’s a fucking lot of fat in there already, man. But there are people doing the shit successfully, so I spent some more time googling with the added insights of the past five days, and discovered a fat bomb recipe (I’ll show you once I’ve successfully made it). I also got the collagen-based protein from Bulletproof (the egg-based protein is fine, and was cheap, but it’s not helping me in the ways I need it to right now).

With these adjustments, I feel confident that I’ll be able to get all the way to that 80% marker. But I feel like I’ve said similar shit in the past, so I guess we’ll see.

In other news, one of my regulars at the bar is both a personal trainer and professional dancer, and she had some great insights about my rib pain. She doesn’t think that it’s broken a bruised, but it’s more likely that I pulled a muscle in that area or displaced a rib, both of which can be solved with some purposeful stretching. I told her I already stretched 20 minutes a day and she smiled patronizingly and told me I should be doing at least 30 minutes given how often I exercise.

She also recommend that I start incorporating natural movement exercises into my weekly routines. I’ve been a longtime advocate for MovNat and I suppose it’s time I start putting my money where my mouth is, and roll around on the floor for a while.

Keto Day 5

I know, I stopped with the “What the hell? Why not?” thing. Honestly, I’m just feeling too lazy to type it out. What’s that you say? I just typed it out? Nobody asked you.

Today is my first day going to work and trying to use the things that they have there to fit my new keto mold. As you can see, my percentages are not what they were yesterday, so I’m going to have to try and remember to actually bring the food that I put into a Tupperware container from home. My dinner from last night was delicious, and the leftovers are still sitting in my fridge. Clearly I’m killing it today.

I’m not sure if I had a harder time moving all of the 30 cases of beer into the basement and 10 kegs into the walk-in cooler because I’m tired from Jiu Jitsu and potentially have a serious rib injury, or because I’m feeling some fatigue as a result of the diet. Either way, today was fairly difficult. Granted, those are difficult activities, but normally I don’t have as much trouble.

There’s all kinds of cool life stuff going on that has nothing to do with this keto diet, but I think I’m just going to keep you in suspense until this keto trial period has ended, and hit you with it all at once.

Keto Day 4 and The Irish

So yesterday I waited anxiously for my new frying pan to arrive (I gave away all my old ones), which I was particularly excited about because this is the first adult pan I’ve ever owned. It’s from Germany and it’s infused with ceramics and shit, and it matches my kitchen appliances. So I get a notice from Amazon saying the delivery driver is only a few deliveries away from my house, which is perfect because I was about to leave for work, and I had just enough time to put together the dinner that I had planned earlier in the day. I watched that delivery driver sit completely still about 3/4 of a mile from my house for upwards of 45 minutes, then I watched him get about a block away, then I watched him drive 2 miles north. No fucking pan. So I stuffed three slices of bacon, some cheese, and a handful of almonds into my face before running out the door to catch the train to work. I was not happy.

It was Tuesday, so it was the night of The Irish. About 500 of the drunkest 21-22 year old Irish exchange students Chicago has to offer cram themselves into the bar for Top 40’s music, $3 Bud Light pitchers, and $4 vodka drinks. These adult-sized children grab each other violently in jubilation, douse themselves (and me) in alcohol, scream, jump up and down, and occasionally throw some fists right up until they’re very unwillingly ushered out the doors at around 3:30am. I personally escorted five of them out early for repeatedly taking off shirts, general drunkenness, and aggressively grabbing me when I tried to break up a fight. They collectively leave various pieces of jewelry, hills of discarded plastic cups and pitchers, puddles of vomit, and a pond of beer in the center of the dancefloor a quarter inch deep and twelve feet across. After the last ones are out and the cleaning is done, I usually get out of there around 5 in the morning, hop on the train, and am home by 5:30. Then I walk my dog, so I’m not asleep until 6:30am Wednesday.

I woke up around 12:30 this afternoon. Still no fucking pan. I used a cheese stick and almond butter (separately) as bandaid solutions, plus the butter and the MCT oil in my coffee act as an appetite depressant, which got me through my morning of studying and my 3:30pm coffee meeting. When I got back home at 4:30? Frying pan! It was everything I had hoped it’d be. I very quickly fried up a couple eggs, ate some cottage cheese (I did not realize I bought the low fat kind until that moment) then ran out the door to catch the train to jiu jitsu.

I had small bouts of nausea and fatigue throughout the day, but it could’ve been a result of my night and my initial lack of real food in the day, or because I didn’t drink enough water today. I think my history of hangovers and my appreciation for discomfort make me uniquely adept at suffering through some of the difficulties associated with cutting carbs from your diet all at once. I saw a number of articles saying that weening yourself off slowly is preferred, but that’s just not my style.

Speaking of which, I’m more certain that I’ve caused some serious damage to my ribs, as it now hurts to do things like move or breath, but without health insurance, I’ll just have to ride this one out. Hopefully the keto diet is good for your bones. I’m sure I could Google that, but I’m comfortable sticking with ignorance and optimism for now.

What the hell? Why not?: Keto Day 3

Uh… I love fats. I cooked all the chicken thighs for my lunches in one go, and before I tore off the meats to put in my salad, I ate the skin and congealed fat with my fingers, and it was heavenly. Also, I threw some coconut and MCT oils into my protein shake, and that kicked ass, as well.

I was able to make it through 20 minutes of stretching, 45 minutes of weight lifting, and an hour of jiu jitsu practice yesterday with no dips in energy whatsoever. I might have bruised or fractured a rib during practice, but that’s neither here nor there. When I’m not getting seriously injured, I seem to have a real knack for the sport, and I’m really looking forward to immersing myself in the culture. Today I’ll do my stretches again and struggle through my ab exercises before going to work babysitting 400 drunk Irish exchange students. I’ll tell you more about them tomorrow.

It looks like I’ve got a better handle on the ratios today, and I think that’s largely due to the addition of butter and olive oil, which are exclusively fats. I tried compensating with cheese yesterday, but there’s protein in cheese, so it didn’t really affect my macronutrient percentages at all. Same is true of avocado – too much protein to skew my daily values considerably.

I forgot to include my calories yesterday, but I’ve remedied that today. I’m sort of banking on my frying pan getting here in time for me to make dinner before going to work, but assuming that happens I’ll be getting about 2,000 calories for the day. Could I be consuming more given my level of physical activity? Yes, absolutely, by I’m from Los Angeles and I hold low BMI is high esteem.

The more I think about it, the more appealing it sounds to make a YouTube channel and start vlogging in addition to this. I’ve got a lot that I’m doing in terms of physical exercise and reading that it would be insanely easier to tell you about via video. Then I’d have to edit it and make myself presentable, though, which are the two daunting aspects of vlogging that have kept me away thus far. *sigh*

What the hell? Why not?: Keto Day 2

Okay, so it’s more like Day 1 than Day 2, but I already committed with the title of the last post, so we’re all just going to have to live with it.

I went out to see my coworkers perform in their family band last night, and they kicked ass, and I had three beers and a shot of whiskey over the course of my time there. Also, as part of their show, one of them tore open a piñata and threw the candy all over the audience (rock and roll, motherfucker). So, in solidarity with the rest of the folks there, I ate some of the ground candy. It was a necessity. But today I’m totally on track, and I’ve got all my meals planned out (you can see the breakdown in the photos below). The only thing I’m not getting enough of percentage-wise is fat, which is insane because I feel like I’m eating so much fat already. I’ll have to come up with creative solutions for that.

They weren’t kidding when they said you pee a lot on this diet. I mean, I drink a lot of water and a lot of coffee, but still… this is ridiculous. I’ve been adding Himalayan salt, cayenne pepper, and freshly squeezed lemon juice to my water in the hopes that my body is able to absorb as much of it as possible, but clearly a lot of it is still going straight through me. I don’t feel dehydrated, so I must be compensating okay, but we’ll find out after I do my exercise and go to my Jiu-Jitsu class this evening.

HUGE shout out to the MyFitnessPal app that I mentioned in a previous post. They added a feature that allows you to scan the barcode of your foodstuffs, then it pulls up all of the nutritional information for that food. Holy shit – what a game changer. I expected to be spending considerably more of my time today typing in individual values, and now I get to waste that time more enjoyably.

I know I just started, but so far I’m a fan of keto. I don’t feel any crazy urges, and I enjoy and feel sated by what I’m eating. We’ll see how well that enthusiasm holds up. 🤞

Pretty pie charts make it all worthwhile.

What the hell? Why not?: Keto Day 1

Many healthy eating experts recommend going through your kitchen, and getting rid of all the enticing, bad-for-you foods. Luckily, having just moved, and being a single male who doesn’t often go to the grocery store, my fridge and my cupboards were already barren. I figured that Whole Foods was the place most likely to have everything that I was looking for on my shopping list, so I headed north to Evanston this afternoon.

Pretty much everything I purchased goes in the fridge, or at least that’s where I staged it for the sake of the photo. Looks nice, right? Thanks. As you can see if you look closely, I forgot grass-fed butter, which is a staple of any keto diet. Also, I don’t have a frying pan, so there will be a second trip in the near future. I’ll probably also invest in the Bulletproof brand collagen protein powder sometime next week, but that shit’s like $50, so it’ll have to wait.

I’m reluctant to call this Day 1 for a few reasons. First, although I will be eating foods that are strictly within the bounds of the classifier “keto,” I’m not tracking any of my macronutrients today to be sure that I’m getting the percentages that I’m supposed to. Second, I totally railed on a lack of creativity in just titling something Day 1 yesterday. But, ya know… Fuck it.

If you’re at all interested, I put my shopping list (and a couple keto breakfasts I jotted down) at the bottom of this post. I didn’t get everything on it because I felt like I had gotten most of what I was looking for, plus what I did get came out to about $170, which I thought was enough. What I also did was spend a fair amount of time standing in people’s way while I read the nutrition labels of different brands looking for fat content, protein content, carbohydrate content, sugar content, and calories to a lesser extent.

I’m a pretty fit guy and I maintain fairly active lifestyle (walking my dog 3-5 times a day [includes going down and back up 8 flights of stairs], an hour of exercise 4-5 days a week, and I’m on my feet for 8-15 hours 4 days a week at work), so I could pretty reasonably consume 2,900 calories a day, but I don’t wanna, so I’m not gonna. I’ll do closer to 2,000 a day if I can manage it while still hitting all my other markers.

Alright, then! Let’s do this nonsense!