Keto Good News Bad News

I’ve continued my keto journey in spite of not telling all of you about it, and it’s going really well. I feel great, I was able to pump out my weight-lifting routine yesterday just fine (fuck you rib pain), and I’m looking pretty good. I’ve also continued my nonstop research into the hows and whys of this diet, and there’s both good news and bad news to be shared. I’m going to keep it short and sweet, and start with the good news:

Keto can counter certain types of persistent epilepsy.

Keto can counter Type 2 Diabetes.

Keto can stave off Alzheimer’s.

Keto can stave off some cancers.

Keto can prevent seizures in high-risk, under-water special operations missions.

Crazy right? That’s a lot of shit, and that’s not even all of it. I started linking to articles on that list, but just do some Google Scholar searching like I did, and don’t take any of that as hyperbole – there’s science to back up all those claims, but it comes with all the caveats scientific studies tend to come with. For more information, check out Dom D’Agostino – a tenured professor at the University of South Florida, and a leading expert in the whole keto thing. He’s been doing this research for quite a while, and so have a bunch of other doctors, apparently. We’re all just behind the fuckin’ curve on this one.

Here’s the bad news: I’m not doing anywhere near enough. That’s true in a few capacities. First, I expected to be doing this for about 30 days to test it out, but according to Dr. D’Agostino, it’s reasonable to expect a performance decline for the first two to three months while your body adjusts to using fat as it’s primary fuel source (I haven’t seen declines, but it’s good to have that expectation set). After that you can start to see performance gains, but a lot of the more significant benefits aren’t seen until 6 months to a year after starting the diet.

I am, of course, still tracking my calories and macronutrients, and I’m still killing it with the diet. But I’m also still having like 2 beers after my shift at the bar and usually one shot of some hard alcohol on top of that. There’s no drinking going on on my off days, but I’m sure the amount of sugars and carbohydrates associated with that are fucking with my ketogenic state potential. So how do I fix that?

Well, I’m going to have to start testing my fucking blood. Not for alcohol, but for blood glucose and ketone concentration. I’ll probably end up going with the KetoMojo device recommended by Dr. D’Agostino, though honorable mention goes to Precision XTRA, which is what Tim Ferriss uses and recommends.

Here’s the real takeaway from this revelation: the highest performers in all fields are using biofeedback to maximize their output. If I want to be a peer to these motherfuckers, I see no alternative but to join the bandwagon and start tracking the minutiae of my body chemistry, which is both exciting and daunting. I’ll certainly keep you abreast of all new and pressing information.

Keto Day 9

Today felt good. I got a decent amount of sleep, I had my morning cocktail (water, lemon, Himalayan salt – I’ll just be calling it the morning cocktail from now on and will specify when it inevitably switches back to alcohol at some point), walked the dog a bunch of times, got a haircut, got groceries, got a bunch of shit for my apartment, and got all my art mounted on my walls… Just a fuckin’ good day.

I opted out of jiu jitsu today. I think taking a week off is the best possible way for me to heal this rib thing. The pain still hasn’t subsided much, though admittedly, I’ve not been stretching enough. Maybe I’ll have time for that tonight before bed, but right now I feel like it’s unlikely.

My barber recommended I check out Bad Blood on Netflix. Ugh… Okay, maybe I’ll stretch while I watch that. Fine! I’ll stretch while I watch it! Damn.

Back in December my cousin crashed my car. He rear ended someone, and the front of the car got all:

He was physically fine and the car still ran well enough to get him home, so I was able to write off a lot of my initial concern. Also, the weather was starting to get shitty and I planned to leave it in the garage for most of the winter anyway, so that’s what I did.

When it warmed up I figured, “What the hell? Why not?” (if you’ve been following this blog, you might be noticing that this is a set of questions I ask myself often) and I started driving it again for errands and to/from work. After an extensive phone tag game with my cousin’s insurance company, they finally determined it would be covered under his plan, so I took it into a shop about a 9 minute walk from my apartment.

On Friday I was told that the car was totalled. I have a cornucopia of colorful emotions about this news. To sum up, I’m bummed because I really liked that car and I only got to drive it for like 10 months, but on the bright side, I’ll be able to get an SUV much more suitable to my dog’s size and energy level, and more capable of providing me with the sort of deep nature immersion I’ve been missing so dearly of late.

Unfortunately, I didn’t expect it to be totalled, and I left my 60lb weight vest in the trunk. Luckily I’ve stayed fairly fit, so the most annoying part of the walk back was actually the bag of sundries and not the vest. I clearly need to start incorporating it in my workouts again, though. That thing is awesome.

Oh and I’m still doing the keto thing. It’s going swimmingly.

Keto Day 4 and The Irish

So yesterday I waited anxiously for my new frying pan to arrive (I gave away all my old ones), which I was particularly excited about because this is the first adult pan I’ve ever owned. It’s from Germany and it’s infused with ceramics and shit, and it matches my kitchen appliances. So I get a notice from Amazon saying the delivery driver is only a few deliveries away from my house, which is perfect because I was about to leave for work, and I had just enough time to put together the dinner that I had planned earlier in the day. I watched that delivery driver sit completely still about 3/4 of a mile from my house for upwards of 45 minutes, then I watched him get about a block away, then I watched him drive 2 miles north. No fucking pan. So I stuffed three slices of bacon, some cheese, and a handful of almonds into my face before running out the door to catch the train to work. I was not happy.

It was Tuesday, so it was the night of The Irish. About 500 of the drunkest 21-22 year old Irish exchange students Chicago has to offer cram themselves into the bar for Top 40’s music, $3 Bud Light pitchers, and $4 vodka drinks. These adult-sized children grab each other violently in jubilation, douse themselves (and me) in alcohol, scream, jump up and down, and occasionally throw some fists right up until they’re very unwillingly ushered out the doors at around 3:30am. I personally escorted five of them out early for repeatedly taking off shirts, general drunkenness, and aggressively grabbing me when I tried to break up a fight. They collectively leave various pieces of jewelry, hills of discarded plastic cups and pitchers, puddles of vomit, and a pond of beer in the center of the dancefloor a quarter inch deep and twelve feet across. After the last ones are out and the cleaning is done, I usually get out of there around 5 in the morning, hop on the train, and am home by 5:30. Then I walk my dog, so I’m not asleep until 6:30am Wednesday.

I woke up around 12:30 this afternoon. Still no fucking pan. I used a cheese stick and almond butter (separately) as bandaid solutions, plus the butter and the MCT oil in my coffee act as an appetite depressant, which got me through my morning of studying and my 3:30pm coffee meeting. When I got back home at 4:30? Frying pan! It was everything I had hoped it’d be. I very quickly fried up a couple eggs, ate some cottage cheese (I did not realize I bought the low fat kind until that moment) then ran out the door to catch the train to jiu jitsu.

I had small bouts of nausea and fatigue throughout the day, but it could’ve been a result of my night and my initial lack of real food in the day, or because I didn’t drink enough water today. I think my history of hangovers and my appreciation for discomfort make me uniquely adept at suffering through some of the difficulties associated with cutting carbs from your diet all at once. I saw a number of articles saying that weening yourself off slowly is preferred, but that’s just not my style.

Speaking of which, I’m more certain that I’ve caused some serious damage to my ribs, as it now hurts to do things like move or breath, but without health insurance, I’ll just have to ride this one out. Hopefully the keto diet is good for your bones. I’m sure I could Google that, but I’m comfortable sticking with ignorance and optimism for now.

What the hell? Why not?: Keto Day 3

Uh… I love fats. I cooked all the chicken thighs for my lunches in one go, and before I tore off the meats to put in my salad, I ate the skin and congealed fat with my fingers, and it was heavenly. Also, I threw some coconut and MCT oils into my protein shake, and that kicked ass, as well.

I was able to make it through 20 minutes of stretching, 45 minutes of weight lifting, and an hour of jiu jitsu practice yesterday with no dips in energy whatsoever. I might have bruised or fractured a rib during practice, but that’s neither here nor there. When I’m not getting seriously injured, I seem to have a real knack for the sport, and I’m really looking forward to immersing myself in the culture. Today I’ll do my stretches again and struggle through my ab exercises before going to work babysitting 400 drunk Irish exchange students. I’ll tell you more about them tomorrow.

It looks like I’ve got a better handle on the ratios today, and I think that’s largely due to the addition of butter and olive oil, which are exclusively fats. I tried compensating with cheese yesterday, but there’s protein in cheese, so it didn’t really affect my macronutrient percentages at all. Same is true of avocado – too much protein to skew my daily values considerably.

I forgot to include my calories yesterday, but I’ve remedied that today. I’m sort of banking on my frying pan getting here in time for me to make dinner before going to work, but assuming that happens I’ll be getting about 2,000 calories for the day. Could I be consuming more given my level of physical activity? Yes, absolutely, by I’m from Los Angeles and I hold low BMI is high esteem.

The more I think about it, the more appealing it sounds to make a YouTube channel and start vlogging in addition to this. I’ve got a lot that I’m doing in terms of physical exercise and reading that it would be insanely easier to tell you about via video. Then I’d have to edit it and make myself presentable, though, which are the two daunting aspects of vlogging that have kept me away thus far. *sigh*

What the hell? Why not?: Keto Day 2

Okay, so it’s more like Day 1 than Day 2, but I already committed with the title of the last post, so we’re all just going to have to live with it.

I went out to see my coworkers perform in their family band last night, and they kicked ass, and I had three beers and a shot of whiskey over the course of my time there. Also, as part of their show, one of them tore open a piñata and threw the candy all over the audience (rock and roll, motherfucker). So, in solidarity with the rest of the folks there, I ate some of the ground candy. It was a necessity. But today I’m totally on track, and I’ve got all my meals planned out (you can see the breakdown in the photos below). The only thing I’m not getting enough of percentage-wise is fat, which is insane because I feel like I’m eating so much fat already. I’ll have to come up with creative solutions for that.

They weren’t kidding when they said you pee a lot on this diet. I mean, I drink a lot of water and a lot of coffee, but still… this is ridiculous. I’ve been adding Himalayan salt, cayenne pepper, and freshly squeezed lemon juice to my water in the hopes that my body is able to absorb as much of it as possible, but clearly a lot of it is still going straight through me. I don’t feel dehydrated, so I must be compensating okay, but we’ll find out after I do my exercise and go to my Jiu-Jitsu class this evening.

HUGE shout out to the MyFitnessPal app that I mentioned in a previous post. They added a feature that allows you to scan the barcode of your foodstuffs, then it pulls up all of the nutritional information for that food. Holy shit – what a game changer. I expected to be spending considerably more of my time today typing in individual values, and now I get to waste that time more enjoyably.

I know I just started, but so far I’m a fan of keto. I don’t feel any crazy urges, and I enjoy and feel sated by what I’m eating. We’ll see how well that enthusiasm holds up. 🤞

Pretty pie charts make it all worthwhile.

What the hell? Why not?: Keto Day 1

Many healthy eating experts recommend going through your kitchen, and getting rid of all the enticing, bad-for-you foods. Luckily, having just moved, and being a single male who doesn’t often go to the grocery store, my fridge and my cupboards were already barren. I figured that Whole Foods was the place most likely to have everything that I was looking for on my shopping list, so I headed north to Evanston this afternoon.

Pretty much everything I purchased goes in the fridge, or at least that’s where I staged it for the sake of the photo. Looks nice, right? Thanks. As you can see if you look closely, I forgot grass-fed butter, which is a staple of any keto diet. Also, I don’t have a frying pan, so there will be a second trip in the near future. I’ll probably also invest in the Bulletproof brand collagen protein powder sometime next week, but that shit’s like $50, so it’ll have to wait.

I’m reluctant to call this Day 1 for a few reasons. First, although I will be eating foods that are strictly within the bounds of the classifier “keto,” I’m not tracking any of my macronutrients today to be sure that I’m getting the percentages that I’m supposed to. Second, I totally railed on a lack of creativity in just titling something Day 1 yesterday. But, ya know… Fuck it.

If you’re at all interested, I put my shopping list (and a couple keto breakfasts I jotted down) at the bottom of this post. I didn’t get everything on it because I felt like I had gotten most of what I was looking for, plus what I did get came out to about $170, which I thought was enough. What I also did was spend a fair amount of time standing in people’s way while I read the nutrition labels of different brands looking for fat content, protein content, carbohydrate content, sugar content, and calories to a lesser extent.

I’m a pretty fit guy and I maintain fairly active lifestyle (walking my dog 3-5 times a day [includes going down and back up 8 flights of stairs], an hour of exercise 4-5 days a week, and I’m on my feet for 8-15 hours 4 days a week at work), so I could pretty reasonably consume 2,900 calories a day, but I don’t wanna, so I’m not gonna. I’ll do closer to 2,000 a day if I can manage it while still hitting all my other markers.

Alright, then! Let’s do this nonsense!

Keto Pregaming

Let me start off by saying that I am not a fan of fad diets. Actually, I’m not even a fan of the word “diet” as it’s used most commonly because I think healthy eating is a lifestyle choice, not a temporary solution to a longstanding problem. That said, I’ve seen a lot of people whose opinions I respect advocate the keto diet, so I thought, “What the hell? Why not?” I’ve even taken “before” photos in the hopes that the “after” photos merit posting here. We’ll see.

So why is this post called “Keto Pregaming” and not “Day 1” or some equally uninspired drivel like that? Well, today I’m cramming as many carbs into my diet as I possibly can. I had a huge slice of lemon bread for breakfast, a thick slice of pizza for lunch, pasta after that, and for dinner I’ll be having the fried bologna sandwich at work, which is on delicious, delicious white bread. My thinking was that I’d really miss all these foods over the next 30 days, but what it’s actually done is show me that I really dislike eating like this – I feel bloated and sluggish. Now I have the added benefit of being excited about this shift in my eating patterns, as opposed to wary.

Also, I felt like it was important to go into this with as much information as possible. I’ve been doing some light studying in the days and weeks leading up to this, but I spent a few concentrated hours looking into the what and the how and some of the science behind this high fat diet.

Keto-deniers (they don’t feel that strongly in most cases, but let’s use divisive language for the fuck of it, shall we?) say that much of the initial weight loss is from water weight. Switching to a significantly lower-carb diet causes your body to use its stores of glycogen, which can cause some pretty serious dehydration, and lead to “Keto Flu,” where you feel overarchingly shitty (nausea, headache, drowsiness, etc). Additionally, increases in endotoxins can cause some pretty serious diarrhea. Finally, some studies suggest that you can lose muscle mass if you eat this way long-term.

If you’re doing it right, there are ways to avoid all of these potential pitfalls. First, make sure that you’re consuming appropriate amounts of magnesium, sodium, and potassium. My methods of choice for doing this includes things like adding some Himalayan rock salt to my water, and eating plenty of avocados (as a someone born and raised in California, this will be a nice return to my roots for me). Taking these steps in addition to drinking a fuck ton of water will make sure your body is able to combat how often you’re peeing and ensure that you’re absorbing as much water as you can in spite of the shift in foodstuffs.

Not a fan of diarrhea? What a coincidence! Neither am I! The solution in this case? Bone broth and collagen protein supplements. These will help to ensure that the mucous membranes in your digestive track are well-maintained, and the endotoxins will be less likely to enter your blood stream, where they become problematic. Plus, who doesn’t love bone broth? It’s delicious.

Finally, I won’t be excluding carbohydrates from my diet completely, and I’ll be making sure to get approximately 0.64 grams of protein per pound of body weight per day. This will give my body plenty of the building blocks necessary to not only maintain, but continue to grow muscle. I’ll be damned if I’m gonna slow down my exercising at this stage.

One more note on all of this: use an app like MyFitnessPal to track your calories and macronutrients throughout the day. This app allows me to make sure I’m getting each of those 108.8 grams of protein per day, and maintaining a ratio of 80% fat – 15% protein – 5% carbs with easy-to-read graphics and pretty pie charts because let’s face it, I’m not doing shit unless pretty pie charts are involved.

Does some of this stuff confuse you? Do you wish I had put links to all of the sources I used to come up with this plan? Too fucking bad! Look it up on your own. As a result of the hours/days/weeks of research I’ve done, I’m going into this thing well informed and with a plan I know will work for me. I’m purposefully excluding all kinds of shit from this little review of my reasoning. If you want to make a lifestyle change like this, know why you’re doing it, and make sure it’s right for you. Or ya know… Just ask me things. That would be fine, too.